A reunion

It was a rare moment. Everybody was nervous. People had turned different. Everyone had grown up. Everyone looked grown up. We didn’t know how the other people might have changed. Life takes different turns with people, makes some better, some worse.

We didn’t know if the old time laughter will come back, or will people be scared to show their teeth in the sophisticated world? Will we joke like before or will it be formal? Will the friendship be as fresh as before or will the friendship be childhood memory? Will the trust and bond still be intact or had people made their opinions about us?

It was a time when we did not judge one another. It was a time when we purely held hands and walked every path. All the misdoings were forgiven. Extremely naughty things were done and also, necessary things were kept top secret. The unity against the teachers was mind-blowing. The good and h=the bad were talked about. The good was super-imposed. Unknowingly, extremely cute things were said, and laughed about. The usual boys and girls fights were often. The comparing results was a routine. The cute crushes, the innocent laughters, the playfull us.

We had grown up. Grown to be fat, formal and distant. Unsure about our own chaddi-buddy yaar’s.

There was an awkwardness spread around. We looked at each other. Asked about what people were doing. About their better halves. All we could recognize were the eyes. The eyes which showed memories. After some more moments of awkwardness, everybody sat down and there was a turn of events.

Everybody started to laugh, screech, screem, hit each other and crack joke’s. there were mischevious smiles which spoke of the teeny secrets we had kept. We broke away all the bonds, hands on shoulders, we sang songs and there were punches and winking of eyes.

Each one, looked at the other person, like we were old time friends. The boys looked at the girls as buddies and not as women. All they saw was the eyes which spoke the tale of so many years. No one was “checking out” the other sex but it was a pure friendship. More and more incidents were remembered and laughed upon. The teachers were remembered. The peons, the library, the ground, games..

There was a teary session. Soon everybody got sentimental. Few girls shed tears. Guys had a saddened look on the face. It was over. Never to come back. The memories were beautiful. But now, they were gone. Now we lived in a world, where such love was unheard of.

Everyone cherished the moments, with pure heart, bid goodbye to everyone.

As I walked away, I shed some more tears. Life is beautiful. We ruin it with our own hands.

Make good memories today, so that you can cherish them tomorrow.

p.s - this is pure imagination.

Balance

Everything in life comes with an expiry date. Don’t ever forget that. Life believes in balance. Where there is black, there is white. When there is sky, there is land, water and drought, birds and fishes, head and tail, shoot and root, making-breaking, love – hate, peace – war, men – women, nothing ever comes without a pair, nothing.

Our physics also follows the same rule. Where there is acceleration, there is retardation, where there is positive, there is negative, resistively - conductivity, and its never ending.

Similarly, where there is happiness, there is sadness. So only a fool can ask for everlasting happiness. When I have laughed like a flying bubble, free and heart-filling laughter, always remember, there won’t be long where I will have to shed equally intense tears. It is no fear, life comes with ups and downs and when you openly and courageously face and accept these challenges, it is then you have mastered the Art of living.

The sadness which come in future should not stop you from laughing freely now. Also, when you cry, u must remember that beautiful happiness is going to come at your end soon.

When you are in an immensely intense relationship, it is sure to have a living end. And a miserable one too.

Harsh, but true.

If u have a balanced relationship, with has strong bond of love, but delicately and mildly handled, with less intense shows of affection, strong understanding and trust without too much of speaking keeps the relationship more balanced.

Too much of showing off, too much of display, excessive unnatural involvement which stops economic growth, financial growth and stops social growth and create obsessions for partner. And obsession go opposite with breaking of the obsession, which exactly what happens.

Instead if you have balanced feelings which control you, your love, your life, career, etc, it is likely to last much longer.

A person who gets too excited and happy when something good happens is likely to get too depressed and sad when something very bad happens. Whereas, a person who has mild reactions to happiness, the sadness affects him less. Pain is lesser. Life is Balanced.

This is the reason why our forefathers believed in penance. Lord Krishna gave us the message of being “STHITAPRADNYA”.

Be neutral to both good and bad, winning and losing, life will be much easier. And you have attained internal peace and internal happiness. Which goes beyond bliss.

The ignored Pain

I drive you from all your past pain,

And loved you instead,

You showed me all my past,

And made me hate myself again.

I forget and forgive myself,

And live life happily,

While you bring back all sweet past,

And turn it into hate

You were my love, baby,

But you misunderstood me,

You thought I was your play toy,

And that, I could never see.

Never a thing in me did you love,

Just loved me for the care, that I showed you,

You hated my behavior, my looks, my walk, my hue,

You loved me because you had nobody new.

You called me a bitch,

And pointed fingers at my character now and again

The lost love, things and memories,

Can never again be regained.

Forgave you a thousand times,

Gave you lot of chances,

When the world went against you,

I fought them all for you.

They told me to be away,

And that u are harmful,

I told them all to get lost,

Because u were my love.

I loved you with my heart and soul,

I loved you with my mind,

All you gave me is slang and foul,

With not even one word kind.

The promises were true,

The pledges were true,

The support was true,

But the love was a lie.

Now we should cherish the good,

Than creating memories worse,

I rather live alone and friendless,

Than bearing all your curse.

Something that gives you pain,

Something that doesn’t let u live,

Something that kills u from inside,

Is called as a once love, now dead.

Love is when we trust,

When we share, when we care,

Love is the utmost happiness,

I have felt it, I swear!

First Love..

There comes a time in everybody’s life when the tender young flower comes out of its bud to bloom and finds the earth, the sun, the sky, the dew, the rain, the leaf everything very beautiful. The heart is free to fly and knows not what the world beholds. One wants to fly like a butterfly, be free, carefree, and dancing. One holds on to whatever gives them hand, and by the pure heart, give away that hand, everything it has in return.


We all love once, in our tender age, and that is the time we give our complete trust, our heart and everything to that person. We do not think twice before trusting someone. When we meet that special someone, who shares the same feelings you do, with Goosebumps all over you, with days and nights spent lying on the bed with your face in the pillow thinking about the special someone, hugging your teddy, unexplained smiles on your face early morning which parents find weird, and the mysterious dancing on the extremely hot sunny afternoon.


Yes, this is the magic of love. The world appears to be a wonderful place. The worst of the things appear amusing, fun and beautiful. There is a persistence tingling feeling in your heart and a constant flow of adrenalin. We stretch, and cuddle and move round and round in circles and all that is in your mind is that special someone.
Your restlessness carries u from one room to another, jumping up and down, making everyone in the house wonder what is wrong, apparently making it obvious to some smart mothers about what’s cooking.


"ring ring".. the phone rings.. And you rush to your phone speedily, even overtaking the light and grab it to see that special someone calling. And you smile. And that is, the most wonderful feeling, your heart skips a beat and you lock your room, jump onto the bed and cuddle up to say "hiiiiiii".


You have so much to say, so much to express, but you cannot keep up pace with your thoughts, oh, u also want to hear that special someone speak, want them to tell you the three eternal words, and not once, but again and again.


The most mystifying feeling is when u hear those special words from that special someone. When they say it with their whole heart, a surge of some unknown chemical, acid-like, suddenly fills up your heart, it’s a moment of immense pleasure, and your whole body gets numb, your senses stop working and it takes time to come to your normal self.


And as usual, you decide to meet, and before the meet, you look at yourself a 100 times in the mirror, look at every inch of your dressing, your hair, and yourself from every angle. You run to meet, but take care your hair isn’t spoilt in the process. There is something nasty in your heart that’s beating fast and oh, u see that person over there.. And it feels bliss. It feels like the whole world is in front of you. It feels like you have everything in this world that you need to live for. Slight tingling sensation is felt and a unavoidable blush-cum-smile comes on your face. No matter what you do, you cannot hide that smile.


And you finally meet. There is an awkward silence. And mysterious smiles. Suddenly, the awkwardness is broken and there is sharing of everything on the earth. And there is no limitations of topic. Anything under the sun is debated about. There are flirty punches in the process and some "pulling cheeks" which adds to the already present Goosebumps. Then again, when the time to go home comes, there is another silence. The realization of separation surges over and slowly, while walking, the hand lightly holds another. And at this moment, the hands seem the only living part of the body. The rest of the body is numb. NUMB. Even the breath stops. And the chest becomes heavy. While you are on your way back, your hand is sweaty. Your heart and breath have just started working again and nothing in the world seems real. It seems all a fantasy. Except for that special someone, the world is a blind place. U cannot see anything. No parents, no friends, no trees, no road, nothing. Just love. Pure, innocent love.


It is this feeling which makes you realize that this is the person you would fight the whole world for. This is the only person whom you want in your life, whom you will tell everything about yourself, every little secret. This is the person whom you will always walk with, and will sacrifice everything for the love and happiness of this person.


This love makes you forget your cell phone in the class, forget your books at home, forget your house keys in the garden, keeps the gas on without reason, makes you forget to eat food, forget that exams are coming, makes you forget everything around you.


You come home and hug and kiss anyone who opens the door. You are so excited, and happy and you hum a beautiful love song all day long..

Ptosis Surgery.

All excited, having slept only 2 hours at night, woken up at 6am to drop kurush at the station, this girl, me, left for Dr. Aphale's eye hospital at 8 after a heavy breakfast for a video shoot of the rare ptosis operation.
Half sleepy, half exited, i hurriedly got ready, collected the handycam and digi cam and ran to join mom at the hospital. The anasthetist had already arrived and we got ready in cap and masks. till then, the other doctor arrived who happened to be an orthopaedic surgeon. when i came to know the patient was a small girl of 5 years with drooped eyelids, i ran to take a pre-operation photograph. As i was at it, the operation theatre was undergoing the final touch ups and we all entered the operation theatre.
As we entered the theatre, the little girl got so scared that she started crying and screeming at the top of her voice. It created a huge havoc in the hospital which irritated all the three doctors. The first job was of the anasthetist to give her general anaesthesia. she was trying to catch up all the possible veins but in vain! This act was going on for an hour and we all got into sweat since all the anaesthesia was getting out of the vein. Now, only one vein was left to be caught and had it not been caught, it seemed, by the looks of the doctors that it would have been a panic situation. But it did get caught and the anaesthesia flowed in the girl and finally stopped her shrieks.
Now, the orthopaedic put 4-5 needles into the girls thigh like a murderer would stab his enemy. i was statled at the looks of it and as i started taking the video, the doctor told me to wait, wonder why ;-)
then he took a blade (mind well, surgical blade) and make a big incision on the thigh. he cut through the skin and the muscles and reached a strong tissue called fascia-something which holds the strong thigh muscles. he cut a 3 mm width and 10cm length tissue and put it in saline.
All this time, i was wondering that it was a ptosis operation and why the hell was the thigh been cut. then i guessed that this might be the tissue to be grafted on the eye-lid. i was too scared by the tense and silent atmosphere to ask questions and since i was the only one who knew the least over there!
the orthopaedic doctor stitched the cut on the theigh and mopped the blood, removed his gown and left.
Now was the main operation. Dr. Aphale put the local anasthesia on the eye about 5-6 times till it got a good hold. the general anasthesia and the oxygen pump was being pumped occasionally.
The eye lid was to be lifted up and Dr. Aphale put herself at hard work. with 6 incisions on the eyelip and forehead and the strips of muscles being pulled by the needle and forceps the artistic hand of Dr. Aphale worked its way for an hour into a successful surgery.
All this time i was up holding my camera and by the end of the operation my shoulders and back had started paining. Durring the video shoot, my mind used to get so engrossed in the surgery that i was forgetting that i was holding the camera so i dont think i was perfect at my wook today. i simply love surgeries..
working without electricity was a pain for all the doctors. It was a great experience though.

Progeria - mysteries unveiled..

Before i start writing anything, i must apologise to all the compassionate young bloods of my kind who feel it a regret that such diseases have come up. i also feel the same, since i am a human too. But lets accept one thing that these diseases are inevitable and we must learn to accept them, be open to them, and find ways to cure them, also, learn something from them.

For those who know little or nothing about progeria, its a disease caused to new born children and they develop symptoms of old age at a very small age, since 7 months. it can vary from person to person. it shows symptoms like hair fall, cardio-vascular diseases, rheumatoid arthritis, balding, thinning of skin, wrinkling of skin, mental retardation, dwarfism, falling of teeth or other old-age related dental disorders, fatigue, loss of eye lashes, hip dislocation, joint stiffness, nail defects (as in old people), and immense body weakness, unable to walk, run etc.
so these children look old, and face old-age poblems since a extremely small age. now, u get a picture.

i feel, its a wonderfull disease. it not only shows a peculiarity in the nature laws but also, defies all the misconceptions that we have in the word "destiny".

A rare disease it is, caused due to genetic mutation in the "aging gene'. my questions is, what is the cause of this mutation? this disease was never seen so many years before. why has it come in the modern age?
My thesis to this is, due to various pesticides we use, we dont know its long term effects, they have not been studied in span of long time, also it can be due to the concentrated drugs which people consume. as we know, drugs are either chemicals or super concentrated extracts of plants, both VERY harmful to the body. the effects of these drugs on the consumer's body has been studied, but has the effects on the further generations been studied? the effects of various chemicals, chemicals in air, chemicals we consume, or the damaging of the ozone layer on certain people or, the combination of few of these things can be the possible causes. Also, the eruption of certain gene altering viruses can also be the possible cause.

Imagine u, having to be born as a old person, without enjoying the happiness of youth.

In our growing ages, we have learnt, to eat specific food, the dieticians tell us, that tomato and cucumber and good for the skin, certain masage to the face can delay or reduce wrinkles, certain foodstuff can prevent heart diseases or certain exercises can prevent arthritis. A motorcycle undergoes wear and tear after running for a long period of time. then HOW, CAN WEAR AND TEAR OCCUR IN THESE CHILDREN WITHOUT WORK?? if they havnt worked their joints, how can they get arthitis? if they never ate any cholesteral rich food, how did they get cardiovascular diseases? if they never tired their teeth how did they fall?

the old age diseases are clearly due to the wear and tear of the body, also called as "degenerative diseases". when there has been no degeneration, how can they get the symptoms of it? if the gene is altered to cause old age, how did the body know how many wrinkles to cause or if the heart disease in a person shud b pesent or not?? because all these diseases rnt present in all old people.

My only conclusion to this is, out destiny is marked. no matter how much lotions we put, or how many tomatos we eat, we r destined to get as many wrinkles in our old age, as we were destined to. as our genes have saved in their memory. if we r supposed to get arthritis, or cardiovascular diseases, no matter what we eat, it is destined to be there. and we cannot pevent it.

This disease, according to my hypothesis, is the error in the making of these children by god. It also shows us many mysterious things about creation and destiny. The more you think about it, the more amazing this disease will seem.

Mann Udhana waryche..

I saw this Marathi play today and it was a beautiful depiction of the young minds, how they play a role at their peak and how it all seems stupid in the end. These things, if not nipped in the bud, would destroy the youth’s life completely. I personally loved the play.
There is a Kulkarni family of a man, his brother and his wife Neena living in a house. Neena is of 50’s and they have a son who is sent to a military school. A new family comes to stay near their house as their neighbors and they are a family of three consisting of a man, his wife and a young boy in his late teens. When the boy comes to live in his new room, his window overlooks the Kulkarni’s house and the boy calls Neena as "Didi" very sweetly and since then, the develop a beautiful relationship. Like a younger brother, Mayuresh used to visit the Kulkarni’s often. He was extremely innocent boy. His Didi was his best friend, elder advisor, mother, sister and everything. Mayuresh used to bring his college problems, his experiences, his everything to Neena and she, like a mother, used to caress him, love him, and they built a beautiful relationship.
As it was Neena’s birthday few days later, Mayuresh asked her what she wanted as a gift. Since he couldn’t find anything beautiful than her. She said that she loved flowers and on her birthday, he surprised her with beautiful scented flowers of prajakta which were her favorite. Since everyone else was out in the garden celebrating her birthday, Mayuresh held Neena’s hand in his, and he refused to let her go. He held her hand at his heart and signaled the dreaded.
Neena was horribly shocked at her relationship being misinterpreted. That boy was almost her son’s age and he had started thinking in a wrong way. Firstly, at his reaction, she shouted. When people came, she changed the topic and saved him, thinking he was out of his senses and would come back soon. She told him never to come to their house again.
Mayuresh did not turn up for few days and after a week or so, he came when she was alone at home and said that he thought over everything a lot and he had decided that he loves her and he wanted to marry her. And he was going to arrange for Neena and her husband’s divorce and then, marry her. Neena, after hearing all this, was horrified. He told her that she wasn’t his didi, but she was his lover. She could not believe what was happening. He told her to say yes to him. She refused whatsoever. He then, took out a gun from his pocket, showed her the gun and threatened her. Since someone came at the door, the scene was closed over there. But this incident left Neena shocked. She called her friend and decided to tell her husband. Her husband and his brother were as shocked. They decided to tell Mayuresh’s parents about it. Since the father was not free, the mother came to their house. The mother, after hearing the allegations on her son, was furious and backfired Neena saying she gave her son wrong signals and that is why he fell for you. Neena was shocked after hearing this. Her pure heart could not bear to her such things about her. She was broken, shattered. Later, the boy’s father was called. The father was shocked and when a threat was given that media would be told about this, the father promised that their boy would never visit the Kulkarni’s again.
Neena was worried about the boy. The boy, if not treated properly, would start with bad habits or ruin his life in some way because of his stupidity. The boy was stern. He said he was in true love and would do anything to get Neena. He was grounded at home by his parents and was put on medication, but the boy would not co-operate.
Neena, dressed in beautiful saree, called the boy at home one day. She said, come home, I want to talk to you. The boy got scared. He was wondering what was wrong. He came to her house. As he sat over there, Neena spoke. She said, she never told him, but she too was in love with him. She said she was very scared. She dreaded the calamities. She told him to celebrate this night with some alcohol. He refused, saying he didn’t drink. She said, she was going to give herself totally to him, because the night was a wonderful night. She reminded how he once came to their place and was wet and she gave him a cup of hot coffee, and he had tears in his eyes. She wanted to hug him then. And she clenched him in her arms like a lover. Mayuresh shot back. He pushed her away. He said, why are we doing this? This is wrong! Neena asked him, "why, we are going to marry right?" Mayuresh was going mad. Neena asked him, "this is the Neena you wanted right? You would be my husband right?" Mayuresh said, no.. this is not the Neena I wanted. I wanted the Neena who put her hand on my head. Who waited for me to come from college. Who cared about me like a mother. And in his words, he found the answer. Neena smiled at him and said, "see how stupid your being. It is your age to fall for things. Any woman who comes close to you in that age, guys would fall in love with her. Be in ANYONE. But it’s the feeling, its not love" Mayuresh started crying. Neena told him, "the first time u came to live here, u called me "Didi" from that window. Please call me that again! " Mayuresh, profusely crying uttered the heavenly words "Didi". they both smiled and hugged.
It was amazing to see the similarity in real life stories and what was shown. Yes, many boys and girls we see do such stuff. They feel that they really love someone, but they are in an impulse. Its an age when we are armed with roses and kisses, searching for an enemy to use it on. And anyone we find first, we shoot it out. We are in a living dream. We love someone without thinking. Out heart beats fast, there are Goosebumps on us, our internal self dances with oneself and the feeling is amazing. We carry it on, calling it the most dangerous word, LOVE. Yes, we do come out of that living dream. Earlier, the better. If it takes a longer time to come out, we end up totally destroying our life. If such love is denied, people think it fashionable to get drunk, chain smoke and do drugs to add to the agony at the man’s biggest enemy, THE EGO getting hurt.
Few things I would like to spread around.
1. When you love someone, please take the advice of some elderly person. Definitely, most times parents would be against it. But someone, who is elder to you, cares about you and is mature and caring. Because however mature we are, in love, we tend to lose all our senses. To love someone and live with that person, u don’t just need love. You need the correct wavelength, intellectual level, emotional quotient and other qualities to match. An intelligent boy and a dumb girl or vice versa will have extreme problems in their relationship no matter how much they were in love before.
2. THINK. And think again. And oh, for me, think ONCE AGAIN.
3. Accept denial.
If you have the guts to love someone, have the guts to accept that person’s decision and their denial. Life comes with ups and downs, and learn to accept it the way it is. DO NOT ASSUME THE OTHER PERSON LOVES U if he/she has said no.
4. Do not ruin your life because someone denied you. That wont get you your love back. That will only prevent further love from coming to you.
5. If any friend of yours or anyone tells u sincerely and caringly, that you need a psychiatrist, please visit one. Because when one needs a psychiatrist, he never feels the need of it. He only shouts at people for thinking he is mad. Not just mad people need the psychiatrist but also emotionally disturbed people need them. To get them on right track. So PLEASE trust your loved ones and visit the doctor if they feel you should.
6. Love at a proper age. When you are 21 years old, you have enough mental, emotional and hormonal stability by then which allows you to think rationally and chose your life partner.
7. Lastly, DO NOT RUIN THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE just because some puppy love of yours denied you, or broke your heart. The world, our life, has much more to offer us.

A wonderfull day with new friends...

Yeah, I slept only for 4 hours after a hectic day to start another hectic day. My aunty called to wake me up and so I did, half an hour after her call and hurried to get ready.

After we started the journey, we relished on some chips and tea on the way while I directed a part of the way.

As we journeyed across the lush green carpet near the Titwala road, i had no idea what was going to come up for the day. I was going because my uncle wanted me to. As we moved to this place.. which was really inside in a place called Mamnauli.

I soon discovered we were in a rehabilitation camp.

We saw some ugly dirty kids having wild bath in a tank. As we moved in, some people greeted us and called us inside a room to have a talk. There, things soon became clear to me where we were. So here, I will give u some piece of my brain.

These kids were picked up from the railway station, tracks and platforms. they are kids of age 9-15 who have run away from their home due to certain reasons like beatings from drunk father, lack of food or money in the family, personal insults to the young minds, friend's influences, and several such reasons.

These kids run away and find solace in the railway tracks of Mumbai, specially VT where other kids like them play, enjoy freedom, beg, eat what comes, do drugs and eventually get into crime.

These children are taken into confidence by the Seva Sangh people, brought to this place, asked various questions about their parents, past, experiences, given hope to live a better living, find their parents and with their consent, send them back.

Interestingly, these kids know a lot of things. They know how to get money, how to use awesome cell phone models and laptops, they know to speak broken English which they queerly used to impress their new “didi“. They are HELL smart. and beautifully confident of themselves. OVER confident may be the right word.

These kids have lived several months and some, even years on the railway tracks and have turned immensely tough. They can kill another person with no trace of repentance on them. Yes, that rough. I guess that’s what the life out there in the open makes out of you!

the in-charge people told us many previous stories.

This child was asked to bring 5thousand bucks from his aunt in Mumbai to his gaon for his mother's cancer operation. The boy went to get the money, took the money and ran away. These rehabilitation people found him on the tracks and got him. Nearly, by the end of the camp, the boy gave them his father's phone number. The father could not come to get the child but after repeated nagging from his wife and the rehab managers, he finally managed to come. After he saw his son and while having lunch over there, they got a call saying the mother of that child was dead. Weird, funny world.

So back to where I was, I met the kids 1st when they were having lunch. We had got some Samosa's for them which they relished with their lunch. That’s when i noticed this interesting kid called Rajkumar. Indeed he was a Rajkumar! He looked at me with mysterious smile and mysterious eyes. He caught my attention immediately and became my favorite.

After they had food, they all surrounded me and we all were chatting like friends. They loved me. They talked about their families, where they stay, what all things they know about the world.. someone asked me in English, "what is your name?" and we all laughed. They wanted to learn good English from me. They asked me for my phone number. While everyone surrounded me with talks and laughs, Rajkumar was always walking somewhere away. Everyone said he was mentally affected and a problematic child. I only smiled at him to receive a wonderful smile back.

Some boy asked me where I stay.

"Thane".

"Thane?? My brother stays in thane too! He rides a ghoda-gadi at Talao pali"

Wonderful! I was amazed!

Someone else told me, "can i come home with u?"

i was like.. "whaaat? how can u come home with me?"

He is like, "pleeease! teach me English, i will stay at your home"

My heart shot a jolt of pain at that instance thinking WHY THE FUCK CANT I LIVE WITH THESE PEOPLE??

i told him i would definitely teach him English, some way or the other, and that I cant take him home. Supposedly, he did not understand the severity of things but shrugged the topic off with a pained face.

I told him, after the camp, when he goes to his house in Thane, I would meet him.

another guy pulled at me.. "but I stay in grant road.. how will u meet me???" I said I would come there for him, which satisfied him.

I told them I would love to visit their houses after the camp. So people jumped on me saying.. "yeah can u come to Aurangabad?"

someone else pulled my sleeve and said.. "please will u come to platform 4 of diva station ‘cuz that’s where i say!!"

oh.. You bet I had tears then!

Some kid even told me that the first salary he gets, he would get something for me. oh.. touchy!

Then we had this fun conversation, where I asked what they all wanted to become when they grew up. One boy was determined to become a policeman whereas, another said he wanted to become DON. Then me and the police-guy told him we both will shoot him off if he becomes a Don. The don-guy was convinced that the bhai's rule everything and they have bought the police completely. Then I told him how Kasab was caught and is now going to be hanged. I told him how the guys in “shootout at lokhandwala” were killed and how the guy in “jannat” was killed.(they all seem to have watched every hindi movie on earth!) I even told him.. "then your girlfriend will cry for u"

After a brief thought he said.. "girlfriend mileegee toh naaa" and all laughed.

While leaving, I told him, "if u want to be my friend, then don’t be don. If u become a don, then I am not your friend.. so friends or no?"

and he said, "friends” with a smile.

They all told me how much they had studied and in turn asked me what i was studying. so I told them i was in 12th. From a corner, immediately, Rajkumar asked me, "so your 17 years old"

Fascinating.

Did I tell u there was a brief phone number noting session and within minutes, they had even by hearted by phone number repeating it again and again.

From the authorities I came to know Rajkumar had cigarette burns oh his hand which he wouldn’t reveal where they came from. The kids told me that guy was crazy and mad and I was wondering why. As Rajkumar heard them saying that, I looked at him and said,.. "He is not crazy and weird... He is jus silent"

and TRUST ME.. there was such happiness in his eyes and immense love pouring out for me.

I have not felt this happy for so many years. It was worth a life-time experience. I wanted to badly stay there but I had to leave. They all said bye-bye like a million times and even came running out to bye-bye us.

I am filled with such emotions which nobody would understand.

The healing smile

We all have pain in life and we all will agree to it.

Sometimes, we sit alone, pondering over how much we have to suffer, while others are so happy and contented. we look at others, their smiling faces, things which they have and we don't and feel gloomier. we feel we are made to suffer so much and our life is such a hell. Well, even i get bouts of such feelings at times. there are different ways people deal with such a feeling. Some grab a bottle of beer and have it their way. Some walk down and smoke to content. Some cry till they fall asleep. Some show it in anger at some third person. My way of releasing this pressure is unique and safest. Atleast i feel so.

When i feel low, I grab my bag, my iPod, some money and move out. Walk to the station, grab a train which goes to Marine lines. Hang on the door in the train, feel the wind blowing on me, take a look at the desperate poor people in the 2nd class compartment. Their faces, their expressions totally take you out of your selfish world.

I get down at marine lines station, walk the line a little, sit and watch the sea. the sea gives me inspiration. it tells me how eternal it is. It tells me how it holds so much of life within itself and never complains.

The Sea is my model in life. So serene and composed, yet, can cause immense turbulence when it is being messed with. Its depth is uncountable. It can help millions of people as well as swallow them at a gulp. It contains immense valuables and treasures inside it, but it is numb and indifferent to it.

Looking at the sea, my eyes transfer all their pain, all their sorrow inside it. The sea dissolves my pain in them and gives me a reason to live. Tells me that dont die insignificantly. You have a greater reason to live.

After having my heart lightened, I walk on the road, listening to songs, leading me anywhere the path goes. Whoever i see on the road needy, old women, people struggling with lot of bags, small kids, fighting kids, crying people, accidents, anything i encounter, i go give a hand to them and get a smile back from them, which is invaluable and definately makes my day.

Finally..

so Finally, i have a blog. :-)

Since quite a few time, I had my friends telling me to start a blog instead of putting up my writings on facebook. Lazying for many days, delaying it, i have finally started a blog. Thanks to all my viewers. I am not a pro at writing, but i write what i love. I write what i feel. i write what i see around me, and that what touches me. I need your support, suggestions, inspiration and encouragement. Buzz comments as you feel like it. Criticism and compliments both welcome openly.

Rooj