Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Fish

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime".

This is one philosophy which Indian mentality will take ages to adapt. People want "fish", "right now" and for "free". 

Few of my experiences across the cities.. 
As i was conversing inside the car, a elderly female was constantly irritating me at the window for money. After a long 15 mins of patience, and trying to drive her away, i finally blindly pulled some 2-3 coins and pushed it across the window and continued the conversation. The reaction to the money was of utter disgust. "Ye kya diya hai ?!?". They are clearly not satisfied with the 3-4 rupees and it suddenly becomes my responsibility to raise their alms. 

Another experience i had was at a tea stall near a temple. A paraplegic was wandering around the temple on a wheelchair asking for alms. When a man offered her tea, she said, "ye wale nai, wo waale stall ka chahiye! Ye paani wala hai!". 
What kind of demands are we making ? And at whose mercy ?

If you speak to any beggar and ask them about how many children they have, you will never stop at two or three. The count goes on. 
Now, if i know, that its difficult for my both ends to me, wouldnt i think a hundred times before making creation of another mouth which I will have to feed? But no, it becomes responsibility of the nation, not mine. My duty is only to produce. 

If one actually digs into their day to day life, the man (if present) actually spends most of their income (from begging or whatever) in consuming illicit liquor and tobacco. 
They eventually get different diseases due to their harmful effects, to which the goverment caters to, and then they die, leaving behind many children (who mostly turn criminals) and a homeless wife (who is taken advantage of). 

This is sheer lack of planning and responsibility, out of which, none of it is taught in our schools. Family planning, finance management and how to run a family efficiently is something that our education critically lacks. 

All that we are taught in our schools is "gareebon ki madat karo". By which, it is the liberty of a common man, to feel that he has washed away his sins by giving lot of money to the poor, feeding the homeless, and giving them gifts. 
Now a days, its a new trend to make videos and posts out of such activities and share it. 
My dear friend, you are doing more harm to the society when you distribute "free" anything. 

At the same time, when maids and drivers and kachrewalis work for us, we always quarrel with them for money and most times underpay them. Why ? They are the same poor people, who have opted to work hard and earn than beg on the streets. Because we dont get moral credit for paying them their salary which we get by paying the beggars outside a temple. All thanks to our bringing up ! 

When i was a child, i had several demands like every other child. And my parents never denied any rational demand which was in their scope. But they would wait for an opportunity, when i would do something worth rewarding, like getting good marks in an exam, like working hard for something, like winning a sports game, or making a public speech and i would get what i wanted as a reward. Even today, when i want to ask for something, i always feel the need to do something worth being rewarded. And it is beyond my dignity to take anything from anyone for free. This is bringing up. Giving everything your child asks for, blindly is not true love. Making him feel he deserved it and he worked enough for his bread, making him self confident is true love. 

These beggars are also like our country's child. 

The mistake not just lies in the uneducated beggar, whose confort zone lies in walking around the streets chasing people with cars for money. It lies majorly in our politics where the politicians have habituated our people to get lots of "free stuff" and "distributing money" for getting votes. And our people are absolutely blind to this "propaganda". As long as I am benefited, as long as i get money, i am happy - is the general attitude of people. And people just cannot differentiate between giving a person cash for temporary benefit (fish) which eventually sublimates, and giving people jobs (teaching man to catch a fish) which lasts a lifetime. Immediate gratification is always more attractive than long term success.

As a child too, the partner who helps us copy and pass is always better than the teacher who boils his blood daily to teach and impart knowledge to you. 

Everytime you pop money to a beggar, you have done more harm than good. You are turning them into vocational handicaps.
Instead, work hard, earn more, employ these poor and pay them well. 
Teach the man to fish ! 

Sunday, June 26, 2016

The bad day..

The bad day...

As the sinusoidal graph of life goes up and down... there are the days when everything is amazing, then there are days when its just a normal day when you want to thank god for not creating problems (which we dont) and the kind of day when you would expectedly call it "boring" and then there are other eventful days when everything has to go wrong. Like, just everything. And then we remember all sorts of people who are not there for us, we remember God and sudden self blame, fate blame and the chain continues..


Sometimes, you are the centre of attention, people love you. Your confidence is high up. But then there are days when you dont live upto your expectations, and all that attention means nothing to you.


Sometimes the mind gets blocked obstructing your thoughts, like a plug of mucous obstructing your breathing, suffocating you.


Sometimes, you badly need that miracle that guides you towards where you want to go.

Or maybe, that miracle is YOU.


Friday, February 12, 2016

V-Day Special: Keep the fire burning!

Valentines Day: Keep the fire burning!



To all those people i know, who have found their true love. To all those lucky people, who managed to find the perfect hand to hold theirs, amongst the millions.

Because love is special. Its the most most natural thing, love. But the most surreal thing is to sustain this love till the end.

That delicate feeling of affection, those butterflies in the stomach, the slight natural blush of estrogen, is very common, but the guts to hold their hand and stand strong amongst all, and taking a decision to stay together life long is special. Its rare. Love is never favourable and convenient. It is when you go ahead breaking those strings around, when your rope gets stronger.

Today is your day to celebrate. This is absolutely a reason to celebrate all that you have been through to be together. To make it all worth it, spend this time only with them, do what makes them so happy.

Ofcourse, love is not one day of celebration. Let it be a firecracker amongst the daily sparks. To find someone you love truly is the most beautiful and luckiest thing one can get. And not everyone gets it. People post pictures on fb, or pretend to cling along, but its not true. True love is a feeling which you know if you have it. Many people start off with "true" love but it ends into a sad boring story where they keep hurting each other, cant leave the other, cant stay with them too! Hence, you are special. You are very special if you are thinking of that someone and smiling while reading this.

It sometimes doesnt take big things to hurt your partner. Small things, repeatedly happening, can bring down that essence of passion in them.

Taking them for granted, being the first one on the list. You spent hours speaking to them on the phone when you just met and now office work gets so busy that you hardly get the time to call. Sneak into the bathroom amongst your busy meetings and let them know that they are on your mind, and whisper "i love you".

If they are staying far away from you, sending a handwritten letter or surprise flowers can totally make their day!

Get a pretty rose for her, just by yourself. Propose her on your knees, although you know she is only yours. No age is old enough to fall in love and its always so amazing to fall in love with the same person over and over again.


Make an amazing dinner for him with his favourite dessert. Dance just for him! Compose a song for them and publicly sing it dedicated just for them!

There may be a lot of things you found out, over a period of time, that you dont like about them. And sometimes, you got to live with it, sometimes you can hold their hand and help them get rid of it, sometimes you got to suffer with them. Do it, without complaining. Its part of love.
To repeatedly hurt and taunt them over it for years together will not be the solution. Nobody can fall in love with a perfect person. It is those pits of imperfection that you fill up that makes the love strongly attached.

Dont judge them, dont label them.The mean world does it to you anyway. Dont ever hurt them over their weak points. The weak areas must be supported, delicately handled, motivated in every possible way.

Sarcasm is very cool, but not all the time with your loved one. Specially in public. Insulting, humiliating and using sarcasm in public, even in a joking way is not going to be cool. Even if they are laughing at your joke, somewhere inside, they are hurt.

Sometimes, you can watch that TV serial with her without complaining, and also trying to enjoy it, because she likes it. Sometimes, you can try to understand that game of football or cricket and enjoy it, just because he likes it. Its an amazing feeling to be with someone who loves the things and people you love and also hates the things and people you hate. Try to understand and exchange your taste in music and other things. No music is superior or inferior. If you have loved them, you will also eventually blend and learn to appreciate their taste.

Its not necessary to argue and prove that you are better and right all the time. Sometimes, you can let it go. Let it just be. Because they already know that you are their "better half".

We get angry with the people we love, agreed, but dont let that anger be the catalyst to un-love. Let that ego leave the room first, because they are worth it.

As strong as love is, it is delicate and tender. Appreciate and value that love you have because you dont know what it is, to live without one! What is that success, when you dont have that one selfless person to be happy for you, to cry for you, to feel your success as their own success. What it is, to not have that shoulder to cry on in your failures. Because those pillows and bedsheets are cold and lifeless. You dont know what it is, to not have anyone to share your days happenings. You dont know what it is, to wait for someones call, or a text that never comes.

It is a great privilege to grow old with someone. Your parents may not be there, your children with be lost in their youth and lives, your relatives and friends in their own different places. But as you grow old, and look into each others eyes, the world you have seen, the love you have shared, there is no fear of death.


You may experience many kisses, but that "true love's kiss" is magical. It can break all curses and cure all sorts of troubles!
Love is crazy, love is stupid, love is blind! But thats when its called love.
Keep that fire burning! Till the end..