Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Fish

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime".

This is one philosophy which Indian mentality will take ages to adapt. People want "fish", "right now" and for "free". 

Few of my experiences across the cities.. 
As i was conversing inside the car, a elderly female was constantly irritating me at the window for money. After a long 15 mins of patience, and trying to drive her away, i finally blindly pulled some 2-3 coins and pushed it across the window and continued the conversation. The reaction to the money was of utter disgust. "Ye kya diya hai ?!?". They are clearly not satisfied with the 3-4 rupees and it suddenly becomes my responsibility to raise their alms. 

Another experience i had was at a tea stall near a temple. A paraplegic was wandering around the temple on a wheelchair asking for alms. When a man offered her tea, she said, "ye wale nai, wo waale stall ka chahiye! Ye paani wala hai!". 
What kind of demands are we making ? And at whose mercy ?

If you speak to any beggar and ask them about how many children they have, you will never stop at two or three. The count goes on. 
Now, if i know, that its difficult for my both ends to me, wouldnt i think a hundred times before making creation of another mouth which I will have to feed? But no, it becomes responsibility of the nation, not mine. My duty is only to produce. 

If one actually digs into their day to day life, the man (if present) actually spends most of their income (from begging or whatever) in consuming illicit liquor and tobacco. 
They eventually get different diseases due to their harmful effects, to which the goverment caters to, and then they die, leaving behind many children (who mostly turn criminals) and a homeless wife (who is taken advantage of). 

This is sheer lack of planning and responsibility, out of which, none of it is taught in our schools. Family planning, finance management and how to run a family efficiently is something that our education critically lacks. 

All that we are taught in our schools is "gareebon ki madat karo". By which, it is the liberty of a common man, to feel that he has washed away his sins by giving lot of money to the poor, feeding the homeless, and giving them gifts. 
Now a days, its a new trend to make videos and posts out of such activities and share it. 
My dear friend, you are doing more harm to the society when you distribute "free" anything. 

At the same time, when maids and drivers and kachrewalis work for us, we always quarrel with them for money and most times underpay them. Why ? They are the same poor people, who have opted to work hard and earn than beg on the streets. Because we dont get moral credit for paying them their salary which we get by paying the beggars outside a temple. All thanks to our bringing up ! 

When i was a child, i had several demands like every other child. And my parents never denied any rational demand which was in their scope. But they would wait for an opportunity, when i would do something worth rewarding, like getting good marks in an exam, like working hard for something, like winning a sports game, or making a public speech and i would get what i wanted as a reward. Even today, when i want to ask for something, i always feel the need to do something worth being rewarded. And it is beyond my dignity to take anything from anyone for free. This is bringing up. Giving everything your child asks for, blindly is not true love. Making him feel he deserved it and he worked enough for his bread, making him self confident is true love. 

These beggars are also like our country's child. 

The mistake not just lies in the uneducated beggar, whose confort zone lies in walking around the streets chasing people with cars for money. It lies majorly in our politics where the politicians have habituated our people to get lots of "free stuff" and "distributing money" for getting votes. And our people are absolutely blind to this "propaganda". As long as I am benefited, as long as i get money, i am happy - is the general attitude of people. And people just cannot differentiate between giving a person cash for temporary benefit (fish) which eventually sublimates, and giving people jobs (teaching man to catch a fish) which lasts a lifetime. Immediate gratification is always more attractive than long term success.

As a child too, the partner who helps us copy and pass is always better than the teacher who boils his blood daily to teach and impart knowledge to you. 

Everytime you pop money to a beggar, you have done more harm than good. You are turning them into vocational handicaps.
Instead, work hard, earn more, employ these poor and pay them well. 
Teach the man to fish ! 

Sunday, June 26, 2016

The bad day..

The bad day...

As the sinusoidal graph of life goes up and down... there are the days when everything is amazing, then there are days when its just a normal day when you want to thank god for not creating problems (which we dont) and the kind of day when you would expectedly call it "boring" and then there are other eventful days when everything has to go wrong. Like, just everything. And then we remember all sorts of people who are not there for us, we remember God and sudden self blame, fate blame and the chain continues..


Sometimes, you are the centre of attention, people love you. Your confidence is high up. But then there are days when you dont live upto your expectations, and all that attention means nothing to you.


Sometimes the mind gets blocked obstructing your thoughts, like a plug of mucous obstructing your breathing, suffocating you.


Sometimes, you badly need that miracle that guides you towards where you want to go.

Or maybe, that miracle is YOU.


Friday, February 12, 2016

V-Day Special: Keep the fire burning!

Valentines Day: Keep the fire burning!



To all those people i know, who have found their true love. To all those lucky people, who managed to find the perfect hand to hold theirs, amongst the millions.

Because love is special. Its the most most natural thing, love. But the most surreal thing is to sustain this love till the end.

That delicate feeling of affection, those butterflies in the stomach, the slight natural blush of estrogen, is very common, but the guts to hold their hand and stand strong amongst all, and taking a decision to stay together life long is special. Its rare. Love is never favourable and convenient. It is when you go ahead breaking those strings around, when your rope gets stronger.

Today is your day to celebrate. This is absolutely a reason to celebrate all that you have been through to be together. To make it all worth it, spend this time only with them, do what makes them so happy.

Ofcourse, love is not one day of celebration. Let it be a firecracker amongst the daily sparks. To find someone you love truly is the most beautiful and luckiest thing one can get. And not everyone gets it. People post pictures on fb, or pretend to cling along, but its not true. True love is a feeling which you know if you have it. Many people start off with "true" love but it ends into a sad boring story where they keep hurting each other, cant leave the other, cant stay with them too! Hence, you are special. You are very special if you are thinking of that someone and smiling while reading this.

It sometimes doesnt take big things to hurt your partner. Small things, repeatedly happening, can bring down that essence of passion in them.

Taking them for granted, being the first one on the list. You spent hours speaking to them on the phone when you just met and now office work gets so busy that you hardly get the time to call. Sneak into the bathroom amongst your busy meetings and let them know that they are on your mind, and whisper "i love you".

If they are staying far away from you, sending a handwritten letter or surprise flowers can totally make their day!

Get a pretty rose for her, just by yourself. Propose her on your knees, although you know she is only yours. No age is old enough to fall in love and its always so amazing to fall in love with the same person over and over again.


Make an amazing dinner for him with his favourite dessert. Dance just for him! Compose a song for them and publicly sing it dedicated just for them!

There may be a lot of things you found out, over a period of time, that you dont like about them. And sometimes, you got to live with it, sometimes you can hold their hand and help them get rid of it, sometimes you got to suffer with them. Do it, without complaining. Its part of love.
To repeatedly hurt and taunt them over it for years together will not be the solution. Nobody can fall in love with a perfect person. It is those pits of imperfection that you fill up that makes the love strongly attached.

Dont judge them, dont label them.The mean world does it to you anyway. Dont ever hurt them over their weak points. The weak areas must be supported, delicately handled, motivated in every possible way.

Sarcasm is very cool, but not all the time with your loved one. Specially in public. Insulting, humiliating and using sarcasm in public, even in a joking way is not going to be cool. Even if they are laughing at your joke, somewhere inside, they are hurt.

Sometimes, you can watch that TV serial with her without complaining, and also trying to enjoy it, because she likes it. Sometimes, you can try to understand that game of football or cricket and enjoy it, just because he likes it. Its an amazing feeling to be with someone who loves the things and people you love and also hates the things and people you hate. Try to understand and exchange your taste in music and other things. No music is superior or inferior. If you have loved them, you will also eventually blend and learn to appreciate their taste.

Its not necessary to argue and prove that you are better and right all the time. Sometimes, you can let it go. Let it just be. Because they already know that you are their "better half".

We get angry with the people we love, agreed, but dont let that anger be the catalyst to un-love. Let that ego leave the room first, because they are worth it.

As strong as love is, it is delicate and tender. Appreciate and value that love you have because you dont know what it is, to live without one! What is that success, when you dont have that one selfless person to be happy for you, to cry for you, to feel your success as their own success. What it is, to not have that shoulder to cry on in your failures. Because those pillows and bedsheets are cold and lifeless. You dont know what it is, to not have anyone to share your days happenings. You dont know what it is, to wait for someones call, or a text that never comes.

It is a great privilege to grow old with someone. Your parents may not be there, your children with be lost in their youth and lives, your relatives and friends in their own different places. But as you grow old, and look into each others eyes, the world you have seen, the love you have shared, there is no fear of death.


You may experience many kisses, but that "true love's kiss" is magical. It can break all curses and cure all sorts of troubles!
Love is crazy, love is stupid, love is blind! But thats when its called love.
Keep that fire burning! Till the end..





Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Death

The Death

I have never seen death more close, than just recently last week when I think my outlook towards life has totally changed. 

So I have been staying as a paying guest with an old Sindhi 76year old lady, widowed an year back. She had three daughters, married and busy in their own lives in three different cities. Having no source of income and very alone and depressed, she had me stay at their place.

We had a love and hate relationship where she would have issues with me pasting stickers on the windows or keep clothes scattered over the bed while she would cry to me about how she missed her loving husband or share her other family problems with me or narrate family issues and other stories to me. Many times, I had to bring her out of depression of her husbands loss by hugging her and giving her a lot of reasons to live and be strong. Yes, she had held my hand and said "will you leave me after your done with your work here ?" And she would tell me, "I have three daughters, and you are my fourth".
In two months, we fairly got attached as humans. 
One misfortunate day, she attempted some labour at home when she was alone and had a backache. I applied medicines to her back and got few medicines for her but her pain was not subsiding. She went to a doctor who diagnosed her of fracture and soon, a cascade of medical illnesses took over her when she was admitted in ICU for half a month, after which, she left this world. 

I was probably not expecting this sudden news of her death and it took time for me to let this news sink in. 

They brought her body home the next day afternoon. The two daughters and their family, along with their dogs were present. The third, being in Dubai, did not turn up soon. Although she was on Skype call where they showed her the body on Skype call and a few tears from the ladies followed. 
The cremation took place, after which things got very light. The family was giggling and laughing over the dogs cuteness and playfulness. There was a lot more chitchatting and gossiping about random things and a lot of loud laughter which I could hear in my room. There was vada Pav parcels and huge parcels from Kayani bakery, idli Wada, nice tomato gravy cooking in the house. Kilos of mangos were bought. People were getting together, chilling at the terrace, the dogs were mostly the centre of attraction. The weekend was well spent. 

As the weekend passed, the working people went back to work and the two daughters started collecting the money, valuables, going to the bank, property transfers, meeting the lawyers, etc. There were arguments about the money not being divided by their mother and some more arguments. 
The third daughter, from Dubai, did not want to miss out on any of this, flew down soon enough. 
The woman, who was the inheritance of this particular house, started cleaning the house, getting the leaking pipes fixed, the lights fixed and broken mirrors, cupboards fixed, getting rid of the old woman's clothes. 

Today, it's 5 days since the old lady's death.

Is this what is death all about ? 
Is this what being old really means ? 
Is this all that a "mother" means to people ? 

All this while, I've been sitting in my room introspecting about life, and it was much better that the old woman went back to her loving husband instead of staying in this mean, selfish, evil world all alone. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Ugly Truth


Finally boarded the flight, and there is my seat.. And oh ! What is this! A fat man walks over and occupies the the seat next to me ! What a bad day ! Sharing a car back seat with two fat people? Walking with the obese? Oh they walk so slow ! Desperate to know whose your new colleague? It's a obese lady! Oh no!

Why are people these days so ignorant about their health? Is it lack of knowledge or people have developed some sort of immunity to this disease.

No, I am not shallow to judge people by their looks, but that's how the world is my friend. Knowingly or unknowingly, your physique, personality and appearance  is a very important aspect by which you are judged day to day by every person you come across. Without doubt, you yourself subconsciously create an impression of a person in your mind by his looks at the first instance.

You may have a beautiful face or a charming personality or sparkling skin, but if u have loads of fat flowing down your body, you are not appealing. No, men do not look at a fat lady twice. No, women do not prefer fat unhealthy men. Also, you have no right to feel bad if your fit colleague gets a better offer or is more favoured by your higher authorities.

Apart from all the inconvenience caused to other people due to your body size, there are endless criticisms and various jokes on fat individuals, insulting names to which you have learnt to painfully gulp down and laugh at your own body in order to not be "unsporty"

There are endless lists of diseases you will encounter within few years which you have already read about, heard from many people and ignored or laughed it off. I have super powers of future predictions and I guarantee, if you do not make a move now, you will have some sort of cardiovascular diseases in future, and believe me, you will not be laughing then. These days, obesity is further coupled with smoking and alcohol associated with obesity-related depression and that, multiplies to be a bigger risk factor for all your diseases.

So many times you have looked at your favourite actor or actress and wished you would have a body like that. So many times you have found yourself looking at the hot guy/girl in your class/office and observed their body and wished you had the same. So many times you have stared at yourself in the mirror and looked at yourself from different angles to see what makes you look thinner. You have tried all the possible photography tricks to get that slim shot for Facebook display picture. You have either spent hours at the mall searching for the apparel in which you look most slim, or just given up on shopping for months together. Who are you fooling? Everybody out there can see you huge body! Did you actually think you can hide that ?

"I'll reduce once my exams are done!" , " I'll join the gym once I finish my graduation! ", " I'll stop eating food", " Someday, sometime in life, later, I'll reduce and then I'll be fit".

No, my friend. Fitness is not a project. It is a day to day activity. It must be incorporated in your life. Just like you wake up and brush your teeth, have your breakfast, you must exercise.

I have heard people telling me, exercise will tire me and I won't be able to work. The truth is, exercise increases your stamina and strength. Maybe the first week you are tired and will sleep early, but soon, you can do more study, more work. You feel fresh and happy. And one week, is something you can definitely give yourself!

Walking is not exercise. Even if walking sweats you, it is still not exercise. Running, jumping, skipping, cycling, weights must be your target.

I do not get time to exercise, is like saying, I do not get time to live. Because if you do not exercise, you are going to live the rest of your life in morbidity. I am not saying everyone has to have a six pack body or a perfect figure. But being fit, within normal BMI and giving a push to your cardiovascular system from your otherwise sedentary lifestyle, so that your quality of life gets better, is a must.

 A good 45 minutes of continuous exercise without chatting with your friends and avoiding prolonged rest can do a great deal of change in your appearance. It lifts your floppy skin and muscles up and makes your body taut, apart from losing a good amount of weight. The best motivation to getting yourself to lose weight is, by losing weight. When you see the weighing matching showing 3kgs lesser, after a whole month of hard work, you will not want to gain it back at any cost, but only reduce it further.

Every time you sit down in your couch or laze in your bed apart from your sleep hours, that fat around you is growing and spreading around you. Get up and move. If you don't move now, you are bound to be bed ridden for many years of your life with multiple saline bottles and needles in your veins. The scene is not very pleasant there. Visitors sympathise you and comment about your avoidable increase in size. Doctors find it so tough to operate on a obese body that it is a common complain and inconvenience in the operation theatre.

"I will stop eating from today in order to reduce weight".
Just look at that statement many times till it starts feeling stupid to you.
One cannot live without eating. The good solution to diet is, eating home food. Wheat chapatis, vegetables, pulses, dals, milk products, anything that is cooked at home is good. It does not increase weight. It is healthy. Do not eat outside food. Reward yourself by cooking your favourite pizza at home, with a little lesser cheese, when you have reduced a few pounds. Take some efforts and cook your favourite dishes home, and believe me, when you cook things yourself, you tend to eat them lesser than when it is readily cooked.

"I want to enjoy life and eat whatever I like to eat" is the most common escapism to your mind control. Hunger and the smell of tasty food are your worst enemies. Avoid going to such places where there is extremely tasty food and smell. Chose a fruit juice without sugar when you go for outings with friends or just a cup of tea or coffee. Have a bite from their plate and stop it right there. Focus on your stomach, and stop when it's "almost" full.

Eat only on the specific timings when your gastric acids have developed a circadian rhythm of boosting up. Avoid erratic timings. Do not put anything in your mouth more than breakfast lunch and dinner. If you strongly wish for chocolates, or cakes, or some other snacks, chip bits here and there, once a while, add a little amount it in your meal plate during lunch or dinner. Continuously chewing on gums or sipping on sugar filled coffee or tea, or biting chocolates, or chips, to keep yourself awake at work are danger signals to your health.

Substitute your meals occasional with a fruit meal. Learn to say "NO" to food. Once you learn that, you have won half the battle. Absolutely cutting down on food is useless because there is a 100% chance of relapse.

Specially for youngsters, do not waste your youth in being the "fat guy" or "fat girl". Make some efforts, give a little push, and life will change upside down for you.
Looking forward for a beautiful, physically fit, "you".

BMI (Body Mass Index)

Height (in cm) / weight (in kgs)
<18 -="" malnourished="" p="">18-25- your perfect
25-30 - overweight
30-35- pre-obese
35-40- obese ( red alert!)



Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dont just get anymore closer

Don’t just get anymore closer

The beatings of heart will stop,

Don’t just get anymore closer,

My breath will come at a halt.


The more I look right at you,

The world appears to be new

Like the fresh young morning dew

And the setting evening hue.


My hard principals are long gone,

I have seriously started to doubt

My rudeness is just to hide

My inner feelings from coming out.


When I want to say yes, comes out a no,

What is happening to me I don’t know.

When I want to say no, comes out a yes,

My life is becoming a beautiful mess


You are dealing not with the common birds,

But with the eagle high.

Soaring up she may hold your hand,

Or leave it down there, and away she will fly


The road to heaven, further leads to hell, they say

I believe its heaven now, I am happy and gay

You have brought me a sunshine ray

The world turns colourful from gray.


I wish the world stands still here

With you around, now I have no fear.

Don’t let the wind, swipe away with gust,

Listen to my words and follow me with trust.


Don’t just get anymore closer

The beatings of heart will stop

Don’t just get anymore closer

Before u lose me, just stop

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The serene beauty

As I walk, the amazingly strong breeze blows on my face, it frees my hair from my neck and flows. My eyes close partially and it gives a blissful feeling.

The mind wanders from the present. It goes far away. The songs play on the ipod and it feels like things have started coming in place. The world is a beautiful place. The people seem to be the most loving creatures. The bad seems to have disappeared.

There is a constant smile on my face. The pigs and donkeys seem cute, the kids seem adorable, I feel beautiful.

Both sides of the road, there are gulmohur trees, whose dark red flowers have decorated the road as if they welcome me to the heaven.

Its cold, and pleasant. Its soon going to rain.

There are wonderful Goosebumps on my hands and neck. I feel romantic. The weather is beautiful.

I sit down on a rock, feel the wind touching me, and go in a totally different world. I become the queen of my own world. I stand up, walk more, I take a round around myself, spread my hands to the sky, look up, and the small drops fall on my face.

More Goosebumps, my heart is overwhelmed. I feel more and more romantic. I feel excited. A very beautiful smile comes on my face. I blush.

I dance. I go round and round, my hair flying, my hands spread. The rain drops falling on my face.

I am wet, I feel cold. It is amazing.
I feel beautiful.