Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The victim

The monopoly of men, thats been raging in certain medical departments is uncanny. "Surgery or orthopedics is a male branch", as we most oftenly hear, why is it so ? Women are incapable of operating ? Women are incapable of blood shed for a good cause, incapable of cutting through skin, into the human body and fix it ? The problem is, they can be better. 

What disallows the females to enter these male dominated fields is the mosogyny of these men. The hatred for women who enter the field. The harassment that these females face.
Female being the epitome of emotions is disgusted and ridiculed by the amount of misogyny she faces as she enters this field in the form of social exclusion, sex discrimination and in order not to be 'too soft' to her, they end up being 'much too hard'. 

She, as a female has to prove every moment that she is capable. She is better than the others. And this, will be further challenged with hostility. But she cannot stop proving herself. Because when she makes a mistake, she is incapable. And when he makes a mistake, be it bigger or graver, its a mistake. 

When she has periods or she falls sick, she is further looked down upon as meak and unable to deal with stress, or maybe she is faking it, whereas when a male takes leave for petty issues, or runs away withour notice, they are forgiven for the same. 

In this patriarchial world, where men get chance to crush the female under them, be it in the form of a junior or coworker, specially in "male-dominated" fields, that is the biggest booster for their ego and upliftment of their tiny self esteem. 

Where i lie here in an androcentric world, alone as a woman, amongst many men, i hope, because of me, tomorrow will be better for many other females who know to dream and will fight to follow their dreams. 
And no man will be able to stop them. Because a better man will uplift an ambitious woman, a poor one will try to crush her. So you are already better than many others.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Time twist

Once, God Shani and Guru (Jupiter) were having an argument. Guru was very docile and righteous. He argued with Shani, saying that if he hasn't done anything bad to anyone, nothing bad can ever happen to him. Shani smirked, and say, “Let me show you”.
Shani decided that he will defy Guru's logic in two prahars (approximately 6 hours long) of the day.

One evening, Guru was walking back home with two watermelons in his bag. It so happened, that the King's two sons were not to be found since morning. The guards saw Guru carrying something like two heads in his bag. The bag was also leaking red fluid of the watermelon juice. The guards thought the King's sons were beheaded and being carried. They caught him and took him to the King. The king ordered an immediate assassination of Guru. Guru had no clue what is happening. From walking home one fine evening, to being on almost-death bed within a few hours, he was shocked. He was taken to the place where he was about to be hanged . Still shocked, Guru was about to die any instance now, when the two prahars passed and suddenly, the King's two sons came running to the palace.
Guru was released and free. Free of blame and guilt and everything else within moments.

Guru bowed down to Shani and accepted defeat.

Story credits:Rajendra Aphale

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Karmic Exchange

Why do we meet the people we meet?
And why dont we meet the others, we dont?
What clicks with some people? And why things never ever click with the others?
Why do we instantly fall in love with some people, but are never able to bond with some, no matter how hard we try?
Why some relationships last forever inspite of constant tension?
And why some just disappear in thin air, inspite of the amazing chemistry?
Why we are unable to keep in touch with some people? But constantly in touch with some others? Irrespective of distance boundaries?
How do unexpected relationships built up fire, while the most expected never spark ?
Why you cannot get rid of some people no matter how hard you try, but some end with a blink?
Why sometimes you do so much for someone, but never get anything in return?
Why some other times, someone does soo much for you, but you just cannot clear their debts how much ever you try?

Somewhere, in some dimension, they had an exchange of karmas. And we meet people, we give them back the emotions and expressions, that was left over earlier. And sometimes, knowingly or unknowingly, we end up loving them or hurting them. Many times, we are helpless. But it happens. It becomes the reality. This is the left over karma. When the karmic exchange is over, they leave.

The bigger bonding starts much before they have met. Somewhere in some other dimension. Some other life. Some other form. Thats why we easily click with some people. Are able to understand them better than we can understand many others.

As long as the karma string is attached, there is constant exchange of karmas without any separation. The more we create the bad karmas, the more we will get it back in exchange.

Probably the only thing we have in our hands is to lessen our bad karmas. Convert the giving-back bad into the giving-back good.

There are so many questions unanswered. Probably thats what makes the life interesting.  

Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Fish

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime".

This is one philosophy which Indian mentality will take ages to adapt. People want "fish", "right now" and for "free". 

Few of my experiences across the cities.. 
As i was conversing inside the car, a elderly female was constantly irritating me at the window for money. After a long 15 mins of patience, and trying to drive her away, i finally blindly pulled some 2-3 coins and pushed it across the window and continued the conversation. The reaction to the money was of utter disgust. "Ye kya diya hai ?!?". They are clearly not satisfied with the 3-4 rupees and it suddenly becomes my responsibility to raise their alms. 

Another experience i had was at a tea stall near a temple. A paraplegic was wandering around the temple on a wheelchair asking for alms. When a man offered her tea, she said, "ye wale nai, wo waale stall ka chahiye! Ye paani wala hai!". 
What kind of demands are we making ? And at whose mercy ?

If you speak to any beggar and ask them about how many children they have, you will never stop at two or three. The count goes on. 
Now, if i know, that its difficult for my both ends to me, wouldnt i think a hundred times before making creation of another mouth which I will have to feed? But no, it becomes responsibility of the nation, not mine. My duty is only to produce. 

If one actually digs into their day to day life, the man (if present) actually spends most of their income (from begging or whatever) in consuming illicit liquor and tobacco. 
They eventually get different diseases due to their harmful effects, to which the goverment caters to, and then they die, leaving behind many children (who mostly turn criminals) and a homeless wife (who is taken advantage of). 

This is sheer lack of planning and responsibility, out of which, none of it is taught in our schools. Family planning, finance management and how to run a family efficiently is something that our education critically lacks. 

All that we are taught in our schools is "gareebon ki madat karo". By which, it is the liberty of a common man, to feel that he has washed away his sins by giving lot of money to the poor, feeding the homeless, and giving them gifts. 
Now a days, its a new trend to make videos and posts out of such activities and share it. 
My dear friend, you are doing more harm to the society when you distribute "free" anything. 

At the same time, when maids and drivers and kachrewalis work for us, we always quarrel with them for money and most times underpay them. Why ? They are the same poor people, who have opted to work hard and earn than beg on the streets. Because we dont get moral credit for paying them their salary which we get by paying the beggars outside a temple. All thanks to our bringing up ! 

When i was a child, i had several demands like every other child. And my parents never denied any rational demand which was in their scope. But they would wait for an opportunity, when i would do something worth rewarding, like getting good marks in an exam, like working hard for something, like winning a sports game, or making a public speech and i would get what i wanted as a reward. Even today, when i want to ask for something, i always feel the need to do something worth being rewarded. And it is beyond my dignity to take anything from anyone for free. This is bringing up. Giving everything your child asks for, blindly is not true love. Making him feel he deserved it and he worked enough for his bread, making him self confident is true love. 

These beggars are also like our country's child. 

The mistake not just lies in the uneducated beggar, whose confort zone lies in walking around the streets chasing people with cars for money. It lies majorly in our politics where the politicians have habituated our people to get lots of "free stuff" and "distributing money" for getting votes. And our people are absolutely blind to this "propaganda". As long as I am benefited, as long as i get money, i am happy - is the general attitude of people. And people just cannot differentiate between giving a person cash for temporary benefit (fish) which eventually sublimates, and giving people jobs (teaching man to catch a fish) which lasts a lifetime. Immediate gratification is always more attractive than long term success.

As a child too, the partner who helps us copy and pass is always better than the teacher who boils his blood daily to teach and impart knowledge to you. 

Everytime you pop money to a beggar, you have done more harm than good. You are turning them into vocational handicaps.
Instead, work hard, earn more, employ these poor and pay them well. 
Teach the man to fish ! 

Sunday, June 26, 2016

The bad day..

The bad day...

As the sinusoidal graph of life goes up and down... there are the days when everything is amazing, then there are days when its just a normal day when you want to thank god for not creating problems (which we dont) and the kind of day when you would expectedly call it "boring" and then there are other eventful days when everything has to go wrong. Like, just everything. And then we remember all sorts of people who are not there for us, we remember God and sudden self blame, fate blame and the chain continues..

Sometimes, you are the centre of attention, people love you. Your confidence is high up. But then there are days when you dont live upto your expectations, and all that attention means nothing to you.

Sometimes the mind gets blocked obstructing your thoughts, like a plug of mucous obstructing your breathing, suffocating you.

Sometimes, you badly need that miracle that guides you towards where you want to go.

Or maybe, that miracle is YOU.

Friday, February 12, 2016

V-Day Special: Keep the fire burning!

Valentines Day: Keep the fire burning!

To all those people i know, who have found their true love. To all those lucky people, who managed to find the perfect hand to hold theirs, amongst the millions.

Because love is special. Its the most most natural thing, love. But the most surreal thing is to sustain this love till the end.

That delicate feeling of affection, those butterflies in the stomach, the slight natural blush of estrogen, is very common, but the guts to hold their hand and stand strong amongst all, and taking a decision to stay together life long is special. Its rare. Love is never favourable and convenient. It is when you go ahead breaking those strings around, when your rope gets stronger.

Today is your day to celebrate. This is absolutely a reason to celebrate all that you have been through to be together. To make it all worth it, spend this time only with them, do what makes them so happy.

Ofcourse, love is not one day of celebration. Let it be a firecracker amongst the daily sparks. To find someone you love truly is the most beautiful and luckiest thing one can get. And not everyone gets it. People post pictures on fb, or pretend to cling along, but its not true. True love is a feeling which you know if you have it. Many people start off with "true" love but it ends into a sad boring story where they keep hurting each other, cant leave the other, cant stay with them too! Hence, you are special. You are very special if you are thinking of that someone and smiling while reading this.

It sometimes doesnt take big things to hurt your partner. Small things, repeatedly happening, can bring down that essence of passion in them.

Taking them for granted, being the first one on the list. You spent hours speaking to them on the phone when you just met and now office work gets so busy that you hardly get the time to call. Sneak into the bathroom amongst your busy meetings and let them know that they are on your mind, and whisper "i love you".

If they are staying far away from you, sending a handwritten letter or surprise flowers can totally make their day!

Get a pretty rose for her, just by yourself. Propose her on your knees, although you know she is only yours. No age is old enough to fall in love and its always so amazing to fall in love with the same person over and over again.

Make an amazing dinner for him with his favourite dessert. Dance just for him! Compose a song for them and publicly sing it dedicated just for them!

There may be a lot of things you found out, over a period of time, that you dont like about them. And sometimes, you got to live with it, sometimes you can hold their hand and help them get rid of it, sometimes you got to suffer with them. Do it, without complaining. Its part of love.
To repeatedly hurt and taunt them over it for years together will not be the solution. Nobody can fall in love with a perfect person. It is those pits of imperfection that you fill up that makes the love strongly attached.

Dont judge them, dont label them.The mean world does it to you anyway. Dont ever hurt them over their weak points. The weak areas must be supported, delicately handled, motivated in every possible way.

Sarcasm is very cool, but not all the time with your loved one. Specially in public. Insulting, humiliating and using sarcasm in public, even in a joking way is not going to be cool. Even if they are laughing at your joke, somewhere inside, they are hurt.

Sometimes, you can watch that TV serial with her without complaining, and also trying to enjoy it, because she likes it. Sometimes, you can try to understand that game of football or cricket and enjoy it, just because he likes it. Its an amazing feeling to be with someone who loves the things and people you love and also hates the things and people you hate. Try to understand and exchange your taste in music and other things. No music is superior or inferior. If you have loved them, you will also eventually blend and learn to appreciate their taste.

Its not necessary to argue and prove that you are better and right all the time. Sometimes, you can let it go. Let it just be. Because they already know that you are their "better half".

We get angry with the people we love, agreed, but dont let that anger be the catalyst to un-love. Let that ego leave the room first, because they are worth it.

As strong as love is, it is delicate and tender. Appreciate and value that love you have because you dont know what it is, to live without one! What is that success, when you dont have that one selfless person to be happy for you, to cry for you, to feel your success as their own success. What it is, to not have that shoulder to cry on in your failures. Because those pillows and bedsheets are cold and lifeless. You dont know what it is, to not have anyone to share your days happenings. You dont know what it is, to wait for someones call, or a text that never comes.

It is a great privilege to grow old with someone. Your parents may not be there, your children with be lost in their youth and lives, your relatives and friends in their own different places. But as you grow old, and look into each others eyes, the world you have seen, the love you have shared, there is no fear of death.

You may experience many kisses, but that "true love's kiss" is magical. It can break all curses and cure all sorts of troubles!
Love is crazy, love is stupid, love is blind! But thats when its called love.
Keep that fire burning! Till the end..

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Death

The Death

I have never seen death more close, than just recently last week when I think my outlook towards life has totally changed. 

So I have been staying as a paying guest with an old Sindhi 76year old lady, widowed an year back. She had three daughters, married and busy in their own lives in three different cities. Having no source of income and very alone and depressed, she had me stay at their place.

We had a love and hate relationship where she would have issues with me pasting stickers on the windows or keep clothes scattered over the bed while she would cry to me about how she missed her loving husband or share her other family problems with me or narrate family issues and other stories to me. Many times, I had to bring her out of depression of her husbands loss by hugging her and giving her a lot of reasons to live and be strong. Yes, she had held my hand and said "will you leave me after your done with your work here ?" And she would tell me, "I have three daughters, and you are my fourth".
In two months, we fairly got attached as humans. 
One misfortunate day, she attempted some labour at home when she was alone and had a backache. I applied medicines to her back and got few medicines for her but her pain was not subsiding. She went to a doctor who diagnosed her of fracture and soon, a cascade of medical illnesses took over her when she was admitted in ICU for half a month, after which, she left this world. 

I was probably not expecting this sudden news of her death and it took time for me to let this news sink in. 

They brought her body home the next day afternoon. The two daughters and their family, along with their dogs were present. The third, being in Dubai, did not turn up soon. Although she was on Skype call where they showed her the body on Skype call and a few tears from the ladies followed. 
The cremation took place, after which things got very light. The family was giggling and laughing over the dogs cuteness and playfulness. There was a lot more chitchatting and gossiping about random things and a lot of loud laughter which I could hear in my room. There was vada Pav parcels and huge parcels from Kayani bakery, idli Wada, nice tomato gravy cooking in the house. Kilos of mangos were bought. People were getting together, chilling at the terrace, the dogs were mostly the centre of attraction. The weekend was well spent. 

As the weekend passed, the working people went back to work and the two daughters started collecting the money, valuables, going to the bank, property transfers, meeting the lawyers, etc. There were arguments about the money not being divided by their mother and some more arguments. 
The third daughter, from Dubai, did not want to miss out on any of this, flew down soon enough. 
The woman, who was the inheritance of this particular house, started cleaning the house, getting the leaking pipes fixed, the lights fixed and broken mirrors, cupboards fixed, getting rid of the old woman's clothes. 

Today, it's 5 days since the old lady's death.

Is this what is death all about ? 
Is this what being old really means ? 
Is this all that a "mother" means to people ? 

All this while, I've been sitting in my room introspecting about life, and it was much better that the old woman went back to her loving husband instead of staying in this mean, selfish, evil world all alone.