Friday, February 12, 2016

V-Day Special: Keep the fire burning!

Valentines Day: Keep the fire burning!

To all those people i know, who have found their true love. To all those lucky people, who managed to find the perfect hand to hold theirs, amongst the millions.

Because love is special. Its the most most natural thing, love. But the most surreal thing is to sustain this love till the end.

That delicate feeling of affection, those butterflies in the stomach, the slight natural blush of estrogen, is very common, but the guts to hold their hand and stand strong amongst all, and taking a decision to stay together life long is special. Its rare. Love is never favourable and convenient. It is when you go ahead breaking those strings around, when your rope gets stronger.

Today is your day to celebrate. This is absolutely a reason to celebrate all that you have been through to be together. To make it all worth it, spend this time only with them, do what makes them so happy.

Ofcourse, love is not one day of celebration. Let it be a firecracker amongst the daily sparks. To find someone you love truly is the most beautiful and luckiest thing one can get. And not everyone gets it. People post pictures on fb, or pretend to cling along, but its not true. True love is a feeling which you know if you have it. Many people start off with "true" love but it ends into a sad boring story where they keep hurting each other, cant leave the other, cant stay with them too! Hence, you are special. You are very special if you are thinking of that someone and smiling while reading this.

It sometimes doesnt take big things to hurt your partner. Small things, repeatedly happening, can bring down that essence of passion in them.

Taking them for granted, being the first one on the list. You spent hours speaking to them on the phone when you just met and now office work gets so busy that you hardly get the time to call. Sneak into the bathroom amongst your busy meetings and let them know that they are on your mind, and whisper "i love you".

If they are staying far away from you, sending a handwritten letter or surprise flowers can totally make their day!

Get a pretty rose for her, just by yourself. Propose her on your knees, although you know she is only yours. No age is old enough to fall in love and its always so amazing to fall in love with the same person over and over again.

Make an amazing dinner for him with his favourite dessert. Dance just for him! Compose a song for them and publicly sing it dedicated just for them!

There may be a lot of things you found out, over a period of time, that you dont like about them. And sometimes, you got to live with it, sometimes you can hold their hand and help them get rid of it, sometimes you got to suffer with them. Do it, without complaining. Its part of love.
To repeatedly hurt and taunt them over it for years together will not be the solution. Nobody can fall in love with a perfect person. It is those pits of imperfection that you fill up that makes the love strongly attached.

Dont judge them, dont label them.The mean world does it to you anyway. Dont ever hurt them over their weak points. The weak areas must be supported, delicately handled, motivated in every possible way.

Sarcasm is very cool, but not all the time with your loved one. Specially in public. Insulting, humiliating and using sarcasm in public, even in a joking way is not going to be cool. Even if they are laughing at your joke, somewhere inside, they are hurt.

Sometimes, you can watch that TV serial with her without complaining, and also trying to enjoy it, because she likes it. Sometimes, you can try to understand that game of football or cricket and enjoy it, just because he likes it. Its an amazing feeling to be with someone who loves the things and people you love and also hates the things and people you hate. Try to understand and exchange your taste in music and other things. No music is superior or inferior. If you have loved them, you will also eventually blend and learn to appreciate their taste.

Its not necessary to argue and prove that you are better and right all the time. Sometimes, you can let it go. Let it just be. Because they already know that you are their "better half".

We get angry with the people we love, agreed, but dont let that anger be the catalyst to un-love. Let that ego leave the room first, because they are worth it.

As strong as love is, it is delicate and tender. Appreciate and value that love you have because you dont know what it is, to live without one! What is that success, when you dont have that one selfless person to be happy for you, to cry for you, to feel your success as their own success. What it is, to not have that shoulder to cry on in your failures. Because those pillows and bedsheets are cold and lifeless. You dont know what it is, to not have anyone to share your days happenings. You dont know what it is, to wait for someones call, or a text that never comes.

It is a great privilege to grow old with someone. Your parents may not be there, your children with be lost in their youth and lives, your relatives and friends in their own different places. But as you grow old, and look into each others eyes, the world you have seen, the love you have shared, there is no fear of death.

You may experience many kisses, but that "true love's kiss" is magical. It can break all curses and cure all sorts of troubles!
Love is crazy, love is stupid, love is blind! But thats when its called love.
Keep that fire burning! Till the end..

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Death

The Death

I have never seen death more close, than just recently last week when I think my outlook towards life has totally changed. 

So I have been staying as a paying guest with an old Sindhi 76year old lady, widowed an year back. She had three daughters, married and busy in their own lives in three different cities. Having no source of income and very alone and depressed, she had me stay at their place.

We had a love and hate relationship where she would have issues with me pasting stickers on the windows or keep clothes scattered over the bed while she would cry to me about how she missed her loving husband or share her other family problems with me or narrate family issues and other stories to me. Many times, I had to bring her out of depression of her husbands loss by hugging her and giving her a lot of reasons to live and be strong. Yes, she had held my hand and said "will you leave me after your done with your work here ?" And she would tell me, "I have three daughters, and you are my fourth".
In two months, we fairly got attached as humans. 
One misfortunate day, she attempted some labour at home when she was alone and had a backache. I applied medicines to her back and got few medicines for her but her pain was not subsiding. She went to a doctor who diagnosed her of fracture and soon, a cascade of medical illnesses took over her when she was admitted in ICU for half a month, after which, she left this world. 

I was probably not expecting this sudden news of her death and it took time for me to let this news sink in. 

They brought her body home the next day afternoon. The two daughters and their family, along with their dogs were present. The third, being in Dubai, did not turn up soon. Although she was on Skype call where they showed her the body on Skype call and a few tears from the ladies followed. 
The cremation took place, after which things got very light. The family was giggling and laughing over the dogs cuteness and playfulness. There was a lot more chitchatting and gossiping about random things and a lot of loud laughter which I could hear in my room. There was vada Pav parcels and huge parcels from Kayani bakery, idli Wada, nice tomato gravy cooking in the house. Kilos of mangos were bought. People were getting together, chilling at the terrace, the dogs were mostly the centre of attraction. The weekend was well spent. 

As the weekend passed, the working people went back to work and the two daughters started collecting the money, valuables, going to the bank, property transfers, meeting the lawyers, etc. There were arguments about the money not being divided by their mother and some more arguments. 
The third daughter, from Dubai, did not want to miss out on any of this, flew down soon enough. 
The woman, who was the inheritance of this particular house, started cleaning the house, getting the leaking pipes fixed, the lights fixed and broken mirrors, cupboards fixed, getting rid of the old woman's clothes. 

Today, it's 5 days since the old lady's death.

Is this what is death all about ? 
Is this what being old really means ? 
Is this all that a "mother" means to people ? 

All this while, I've been sitting in my room introspecting about life, and it was much better that the old woman went back to her loving husband instead of staying in this mean, selfish, evil world all alone. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Ugly Truth

Finally boarded the flight, and there is my seat.. And oh ! What is this! A fat man walks over and occupies the the seat next to me ! What a bad day ! Sharing a car back seat with two fat people? Walking with the obese? Oh they walk so slow ! Desperate to know whose your new colleague? It's a obese lady! Oh no!

Why are people these days so ignorant about their health? Is it lack of knowledge or people have developed some sort of immunity to this disease.

No, I am not shallow to judge people by their looks, but that's how the world is my friend. Knowingly or unknowingly, your physique, personality and appearance  is a very important aspect by which you are judged day to day by every person you come across. Without doubt, you yourself subconsciously create an impression of a person in your mind by his looks at the first instance.

You may have a beautiful face or a charming personality or sparkling skin, but if u have loads of fat flowing down your body, you are not appealing. No, men do not look at a fat lady twice. No, women do not prefer fat unhealthy men. Also, you have no right to feel bad if your fit colleague gets a better offer or is more favoured by your higher authorities.

Apart from all the inconvenience caused to other people due to your body size, there are endless criticisms and various jokes on fat individuals, insulting names to which you have learnt to painfully gulp down and laugh at your own body in order to not be "unsporty"

There are endless lists of diseases you will encounter within few years which you have already read about, heard from many people and ignored or laughed it off. I have super powers of future predictions and I guarantee, if you do not make a move now, you will have some sort of cardiovascular diseases in future, and believe me, you will not be laughing then. These days, obesity is further coupled with smoking and alcohol associated with obesity-related depression and that, multiplies to be a bigger risk factor for all your diseases.

So many times you have looked at your favourite actor or actress and wished you would have a body like that. So many times you have found yourself looking at the hot guy/girl in your class/office and observed their body and wished you had the same. So many times you have stared at yourself in the mirror and looked at yourself from different angles to see what makes you look thinner. You have tried all the possible photography tricks to get that slim shot for Facebook display picture. You have either spent hours at the mall searching for the apparel in which you look most slim, or just given up on shopping for months together. Who are you fooling? Everybody out there can see you huge body! Did you actually think you can hide that ?

"I'll reduce once my exams are done!" , " I'll join the gym once I finish my graduation! ", " I'll stop eating food", " Someday, sometime in life, later, I'll reduce and then I'll be fit".

No, my friend. Fitness is not a project. It is a day to day activity. It must be incorporated in your life. Just like you wake up and brush your teeth, have your breakfast, you must exercise.

I have heard people telling me, exercise will tire me and I won't be able to work. The truth is, exercise increases your stamina and strength. Maybe the first week you are tired and will sleep early, but soon, you can do more study, more work. You feel fresh and happy. And one week, is something you can definitely give yourself!

Walking is not exercise. Even if walking sweats you, it is still not exercise. Running, jumping, skipping, cycling, weights must be your target.

I do not get time to exercise, is like saying, I do not get time to live. Because if you do not exercise, you are going to live the rest of your life in morbidity. I am not saying everyone has to have a six pack body or a perfect figure. But being fit, within normal BMI and giving a push to your cardiovascular system from your otherwise sedentary lifestyle, so that your quality of life gets better, is a must.

 A good 45 minutes of continuous exercise without chatting with your friends and avoiding prolonged rest can do a great deal of change in your appearance. It lifts your floppy skin and muscles up and makes your body taut, apart from losing a good amount of weight. The best motivation to getting yourself to lose weight is, by losing weight. When you see the weighing matching showing 3kgs lesser, after a whole month of hard work, you will not want to gain it back at any cost, but only reduce it further.

Every time you sit down in your couch or laze in your bed apart from your sleep hours, that fat around you is growing and spreading around you. Get up and move. If you don't move now, you are bound to be bed ridden for many years of your life with multiple saline bottles and needles in your veins. The scene is not very pleasant there. Visitors sympathise you and comment about your avoidable increase in size. Doctors find it so tough to operate on a obese body that it is a common complain and inconvenience in the operation theatre.

"I will stop eating from today in order to reduce weight".
Just look at that statement many times till it starts feeling stupid to you.
One cannot live without eating. The good solution to diet is, eating home food. Wheat chapatis, vegetables, pulses, dals, milk products, anything that is cooked at home is good. It does not increase weight. It is healthy. Do not eat outside food. Reward yourself by cooking your favourite pizza at home, with a little lesser cheese, when you have reduced a few pounds. Take some efforts and cook your favourite dishes home, and believe me, when you cook things yourself, you tend to eat them lesser than when it is readily cooked.

"I want to enjoy life and eat whatever I like to eat" is the most common escapism to your mind control. Hunger and the smell of tasty food are your worst enemies. Avoid going to such places where there is extremely tasty food and smell. Chose a fruit juice without sugar when you go for outings with friends or just a cup of tea or coffee. Have a bite from their plate and stop it right there. Focus on your stomach, and stop when it's "almost" full.

Eat only on the specific timings when your gastric acids have developed a circadian rhythm of boosting up. Avoid erratic timings. Do not put anything in your mouth more than breakfast lunch and dinner. If you strongly wish for chocolates, or cakes, or some other snacks, chip bits here and there, once a while, add a little amount it in your meal plate during lunch or dinner. Continuously chewing on gums or sipping on sugar filled coffee or tea, or biting chocolates, or chips, to keep yourself awake at work are danger signals to your health.

Substitute your meals occasional with a fruit meal. Learn to say "NO" to food. Once you learn that, you have won half the battle. Absolutely cutting down on food is useless because there is a 100% chance of relapse.

Specially for youngsters, do not waste your youth in being the "fat guy" or "fat girl". Make some efforts, give a little push, and life will change upside down for you.
Looking forward for a beautiful, physically fit, "you".

BMI (Body Mass Index)

Height (in cm) / weight (in kgs)
<18 -="" malnourished="" p="">18-25- your perfect
25-30 - overweight
30-35- pre-obese
35-40- obese ( red alert!)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dont just get anymore closer

Don’t just get anymore closer

The beatings of heart will stop,

Don’t just get anymore closer,

My breath will come at a halt.

The more I look right at you,

The world appears to be new

Like the fresh young morning dew

And the setting evening hue.

My hard principals are long gone,

I have seriously started to doubt

My rudeness is just to hide

My inner feelings from coming out.

When I want to say yes, comes out a no,

What is happening to me I don’t know.

When I want to say no, comes out a yes,

My life is becoming a beautiful mess

You are dealing not with the common birds,

But with the eagle high.

Soaring up she may hold your hand,

Or leave it down there, and away she will fly

The road to heaven, further leads to hell, they say

I believe its heaven now, I am happy and gay

You have brought me a sunshine ray

The world turns colourful from gray.

I wish the world stands still here

With you around, now I have no fear.

Don’t let the wind, swipe away with gust,

Listen to my words and follow me with trust.

Don’t just get anymore closer

The beatings of heart will stop

Don’t just get anymore closer

Before u lose me, just stop

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The serene beauty

As I walk, the amazingly strong breeze blows on my face, it frees my hair from my neck and flows. My eyes close partially and it gives a blissful feeling.

The mind wanders from the present. It goes far away. The songs play on the ipod and it feels like things have started coming in place. The world is a beautiful place. The people seem to be the most loving creatures. The bad seems to have disappeared.

There is a constant smile on my face. The pigs and donkeys seem cute, the kids seem adorable, I feel beautiful.

Both sides of the road, there are gulmohur trees, whose dark red flowers have decorated the road as if they welcome me to the heaven.

Its cold, and pleasant. Its soon going to rain.

There are wonderful Goosebumps on my hands and neck. I feel romantic. The weather is beautiful.

I sit down on a rock, feel the wind touching me, and go in a totally different world. I become the queen of my own world. I stand up, walk more, I take a round around myself, spread my hands to the sky, look up, and the small drops fall on my face.

More Goosebumps, my heart is overwhelmed. I feel more and more romantic. I feel excited. A very beautiful smile comes on my face. I blush.

I dance. I go round and round, my hair flying, my hands spread. The rain drops falling on my face.

I am wet, I feel cold. It is amazing.
I feel beautiful.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The man in her life

A woman needs a man in her life. Be it her father, brother or husband. She needs the presence of this man, who loves her like hell, and who will go any length of the world to protect her and keep her away from evil.

She needs the presence of this man to give her the assurance that if ever anything happens, she will be given a safe shelter to live in, food to keep her hunger away and will be on his foot with his all might if he sees those tears in her eyes.

She wants someone who will look into her eyes and tell her, “don’t worry, I’m here, everything will be alright”.

She needs this man.

She needs this man who will take over all the responsibilities when you are not in the best of health, will stand ahead and not allow you to pay a single penny.

“There is no calculation of money when it is you”, he says.

And let this woman be however self-contented, independent or successful. She needs this man.

She can fight the whole world when she knows she has him behind her. She can magically deal with every problem n the world with ease when he says “I’m here”.

She needs this someone, who, if the whole world goes against you, abandons you, will not let you roam on the streets alone but will always make sure you are safe.

She may not expect you to do this all the time, but the mere presence and the feeling, the financial, psychological and physical support is what she needs.

For all the men, my only message is, be this someone to your daughters, sisters, wives. They need you. They will be shattered if they don’t have this man in their lives.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Top of the Train

Local trains have always been my fascination. No matter how much crowded it is, no matter how stinky it is, I love it.

I love it because, without it, there was no way of transport across the city. Everybody doesn’t have a vehicle. And even if everybody did have a vehicle, no one would be able to move due to the roads being completely packed with cars and bikes.

I love these local trains even more because they are so rare. The dirt is often cleaned. The doors are always open so that you can leave your body freely outside holding the pole and experience the wonderful wind blowing on your face, irrespective of it, damaging your hair.

The most emotional aspect of the train is, when they go real fast when you’re already late. It feels patriotic. Feels that the trains actually care about you. J

I am a specific fan of fast trains very late night. They are almost empty and hanging from those trains let you see the entire colorful lighting of Mumbai in the dark, cold sky.

Sitting in a train is never boring. you can always stare at the people around you. Listen to their talks, conversations, and its always interesting! You can actually tell about their whole family, what people in their family do, their family problems etc by the time you are out of the train.

If a youngster is sitting next to you, u can tiptoe their sms’s and find things hilarious. Like that day, I was reading the sms’s of a girl sitting next to me and it said things like “shooonoo my shweetooo looveee u.. and will always be with u.. missing u sooo much” ROFL. Its really hilarious to read all that. Then the girl goes like “I know your lying. All this is just fake. I hate you. “ Hahah. And it goes on and on. The entertainment is never-ending. Sometimes, you wish to not get out of the train even when your station has arrived.

If you’re lucky, you can get to see ladies fighting in the ladies compartment. The type of slang they use, the way the talk, its absolutely funny! It will cheer you up in the worst of times! :-p

When the small boys come with the huge trays filled with earrings and clips and all such female accessories, its fascinating to see how ladies pay 10-20 rupees for rubbish stuff. You can actually see yourself talk in your mind “Who buys such stuff??” and the lady next to you has already bought it!

Once I was listening to two girls talking and one of them was like. “You know he was looking at me and I didn’t know what to say, I was blushing sooooooooooooo much” Lol.

Once, I overheard two girls bitching about their professors and it was amazingly funny. I have even participated in many random conversations and made random train friends. It’s cute.

If you happen to see the men fight, its more amazing, and rare too, but it can also turn out to be horrid. Nevertheless, it keeps the boredom away.

When I see lot of crowd, I always wonder what each one of them must be doing, where they must be going, what pressures do they have to bear to travel in such a miserable crowd, earn money, go home and cook food, take care of children. Life is surely tough for some people.

It is really fun when your standing in the crowd and some bitchy woman is continuously irritating and pushing everyone, and you share “such-a-bitch” smile with other women. :-p

Once, there was a miserable crowd in the train and as usual, I was on my iPod. Some woman started pushing me, telling me to shift. As there was no place, I paid no heed to her. Then she pushed me hard. I shut the iPod, looked at her, and started speaking in English with heavy American accent. She had no clue what to say. I pretended as if I knew no Indian language. She gave me a few slang in Marathi and walked away. :D it really works.

Its one of the most amazing feelings, when you get to hang out at the door, and your listening to songs on the iPod simultaneously. The wind comes on your face, the scene outside is continuously moving and you have beautiful songs. It feels bliss.

I always wanted to travel on the top of the local trains. It was one of the many things I want to do before I die. Well, so a day like any another, I went with my brother to Dadar. Coming back, I got a sudden surge of craziness and I was like. “Lets go on the top today”. Totally unplanned, we climbed up the train at Dadar station. UP, meaning on the roof!

As I climbed, I was totally unsure of where to sit, what to hold. And the train starts within seconds. The train started. I was hanging on the ladder, which goes up. It was amazing. I slowly climbed up the roof. I sat on the roof. It was then, my brother shouted, “NOT THERE! THERE IS A WIRE!”

I got scared, but I experienced the few minutes of joy at the top. The world seems beautiful. Mumbai seems amazing. You see the people boarding on the train from the top. You see the city, the rail, everything from up. The part of the crowd you were, till yesterday, is seen as a whole today from up. The wind is moving on you, giving you tingling feeling of excitement, joy, the fun of doing something wrong, the fear of getting caught, its AMAZING.

Also, at the top of the train, the train bogie moves left and right with an alarming velocity. It gives you a feeling that you will be thrown away at the sides if you don’t hold tight. Its not a feeling, you WILL be thrown if you don’t hold tight.

So I came down at the ladder again. As the Byculla station came, we got down. And I started walking like any other person of the road. I looked around for a second. Smiled at myself. And I actually jumped over there with joy and screamed!

It was amazing.

What is the use of living a dry life for 100 years? Instead, live a exciting life, risk every moment, smartly of course! That’s what I believe in!

P.S. – That does NOT mean anyone out there should read this and go on top of the train. It is extremely risky and life threatening. As good as attempting suicide. Please guide experienced before thinking of such a task.

P.S 2 – The fine for climbing up on the train if your caught is 500rs per person.